April 13th

April 13th is maybe the best and worst day of my life.

Let me start from the beginning.

April 13th, 2014: We get into the Accident. I sustain the Traumatic Brain Injury. From this point on my life has changed for worse: my processing speed is unbearably slow, my short term memory has flown out the window, I’m tired literally all of the time-physically, mentally, and emotionally. From this point on my life has changed for better even though I may not realize it: I was going through a bit of a hard time and having the Accident come when it did actually got me out of a rut. However, this realization is gradual and isn’t typically my main reaction or first appreciation in the coming years.

April 13th, 2015: The Accident is still relatively fresh. It has defined me now that I’m allowed extra time, I’m taking fewer classes, and I’m still incredibly tired-in all three ways mentioned before. I actually asked my parents if I could take a mental health day and skip school—I wasn’t allowed to do this. Instead I miss the first 20 minutes of class that day taking my permit test. It’s kinda ironic when you think about it and even more so now seeing as I still can’t drive.

April 13th, 2016: I came to school feeling crappy because it’s April 13th. I had a free that morning but instead of sleeping was using it to get work done. I walked on to the Circle and to my surprise was greeted with hot chocolate and muffins. I sat outside the library and ate them and cried because of how grateful I felt. Later that day I wrote Ms. Kauffman a note explaining all of this to her and how her coincidental timing made me so unimaginably happy.

April 13th, 2017: I missed it. In what is maybe the happiest day of my life yet, I forgot about April 13th. I lived my life like any normal day. I didn’t even realize April 13th happened until maybe 4 days later. It’s unclear what we were actually doing that day, my guess is in Healdsburg drinking coffee, playing with Skye, and eating ice cream.

April 13th, 2018: Today is the last day of my gap year adventure. The Gracefully Clumsy antics aren’t stopping, don’t worry. This year’s April 13th is a celebration. It’s a celebration of life, of the people in our lives, of the things we have to be grateful for, of adventures coming to a close, and new ones beginning. In case you were wondering what the crew of Argo is planning to do tonight: we’re celebrating having completed an Atlantic crossing, our academic classes, becoming SCUBA certified, and our last night together by having some fun. I promise, it’s completely legal fun because we’re all 18 and it’s the Caribbean. We’re each raising a glass of that sugar cane and, at the very least, I’m toasting by saying “Ow!”

April 13th, 2019: Who knows?

So thank you for joining me on this crazy adventure, not just of my gap year, but five years in the making of my healing process. Thank you for being there and supporting me-because my guess is that if you’re reading this, you’ve been cheering on the sidelines since the beginning. I want to use this to say how grateful I am for my adventure and for all of the support and love that has been sent my way by the armful. Even more so, I hope everyone is appreciative of their own unique adventures too. It has been an absolute honor to be a Gator, a Cherub, a team member, a cast member, a crew member, and countless other things — I can’t wait to see where my next adventure takes me.